Chapters

Friday, May 24, 2019

Burning Desire - thoughts of a horny old man.

Burning Desire

17 Years old, missing out on the world doing time, 16 years, coming back into the real world, has been at least a challenge. Seeing into night as I do, walking in the day of the real world. Feelings with the swooping of time flying by. As I watch the young, grow old. Leaving me trapped in a timeless time. Where day and night are one. I sit alone missing out on the fun of growing up and growing old.


The women I seen were rather poster, play boy or sissies on the galleries, Tv women all beautiful and picture perfect. The rest of the seeing was all men. in little bird cages stacked up 4 galleries high, like pigeons chattering, awaiting to see the sky blue.

There is a burning desire to know women, up close and personal. To experience their beauty in knowing, the heart beating, with a feeling of joy. Finding the company of women, more so pleasing after I get past my cheesy grinning, with a lacking in the ability of speaking, normally as free people do. 

After years of being told, not to talk to the prison girls, passing threw medical. I find my self shy and timid around women I fancy. Looking into their eyes and hearing my voices lie, I find moments where feeling are not real, lacking in a sense. Struggling with rule and law to understand whats wrong and whats right. Where is the confidence gone. Lost in time, never again. 

Ahh, but its the scent, that swings my attention. The soft smell of flesh, all hot and moist, willing with want. That sweetness in smiles and deep eyes, filled with the light of joy, filling the air with laughter.

A boy grows into a man with needs, those needs need to be met in hungry ways, fulfilling dreams and desires. After being locked up for so long, and then to further lock my self away. Avoiding the public eye in the lack of understanding. Life is changing all around me and within me. Further and further into life we go.

Being a father, a husband and a grandfather, with a need to brake the chains and find my self with mistress in hand, has been a hard struggle. Trying to follow a heart full of dreams, all wet and soggy. Still standing as a man, looking out into an odd real world. One changing daily. A world with out sin. Where free men run with the herds. All that I planed to do, all those dreams of them, Never fitting in, setting on the out side, looking in.

Life becomes a dreary world. Feeling sexless, in a marriage is no fun. But we hold our head as high as we can and muster threw the days, my rosy hand and her five sisters make for a great date, but does get tiresome. Left to day dream, dreams bleeding from heart. I stand apart on the out side looking in. Wonder when the worlds going to let me win.

Or is it my place to be, as a no one, standing alone... Watching, learning and growing out of time. As age sets in and youth fades away. The days get shorter and the nights longer, as the light fades its life force from me. I sit and wonder, what I was here for, if not to just waist and decay away.

Stepping out into the world and seeing as I do. Watching as life flashes threw. From young to old and born again. Every one walking, as living books of information. Seeing the light as images rush threw. Stories unfold and life spans pass in flashing moments. Further I shy away, surrendering to my lowering ways in dreams, hopes and aches.

To know them as they are, for who they have been and who they become, life changing by the choices being made. The future holds, little stable ground to spring from. Sprung from dreams and beginning to believe there is tomorrow.

Seems a little like bitching, with a need for understanding, the needs of an old man, wanting more then smiles. Pent up and gut aching, please... Daunting she leaves me hanging, with a paining of desire to release. To be free, to be me awakening.

The feel of a genital touch, mustering up lust and desire, burning like fire as holy hell. The flames licking away at my soul, burning to know her - as I am. This dream goddess - with faces ever changing, always haunting, heating - my hearts desire from within.
To hold her in honor of her beauty and whims, sugar and spice how nice, how nice.  The entice of her welcoming a gift in. A dream fading, I know. Lost in the space of time with no where to go. 


But up...

Thursday, May 23, 2019

Deep Pools

I look into deep pools, your eyes, seeing your soul for the very first time. I wonder in wounder of what would it be like, to bathe in the light of your love. The scent of hair caressing, my mind blooming in thoughts of you. A blazing of soul burning with desire, flames licking my heart. Knowing you would make growing old fun in young ways, as days become nights and years pass with delight, edging with the fright of loosing you. Blooming a looming feeling, twinged in longing the love of you. The smiles and eyes swiping life from me, making way for the day you come to me,  hell fire rises around me, smiling for loving you, as years burn away from me, you age away into grey fading, life was blessed having you. Falling into the love of your eyes, blinded me thinking you was mine, our hearts twisted the time frame, thinking you was fare game, who is to blame when feelings are the same. you blasted my soul with showers of heavens rain. A goddess dressed in the sun with a crown of stars you sold my heart with the joy of your smile, cheeks blushing, hopes rushing, heart pounding, my love for you. a dream goddess dreaming along with me. finding my way into the day my heart stays, alive and binding. Dream a dream with me and we will see the way to cross the abyss into heaven. Fly with me to the witches massing in the blacken void of nothing we'll dance around flames lighting the way, burning as bright as the morning star shining. Dream with me and you will see, spread thy wings and fly with me. take my hand and know me as I am. Lets take flight in the night to the stars into glory.  

who I think I is



who I think I is I is a no one looking to be some one from nothing, hoping for the groping of gold and silver. I is a spirit dressed in flesh, tucked away in clay awaiting the great awakening, when we can play. O the fun we are going to have. The kinds of time, as roses grow in wild meadows on sunny days. I think I is a wild rose in a bush of many growing for a spell in the time span we dwell I is a living being, being oddly me. I is a dream being dreamed into the realness of life around. That's who he thinks he is... 

why you ask???

nat no game


natter ate it aint no game blaming shame, shame shame. 3 times lost to the system, blistering the mind with all that time. sister kissed  so did I and she was a wild pie taking it in. O wake bake lets do it again. she likes the fist in check it out loose a s a gooses lake, giggle giggle lets get baked with brownies made from candy bars. date girls from mars not Jupiter. hay twitty twat with the sweet twot squirting a lot. twitty twat pussy in the fuzzy hat smack that quake smack tatt ass with some grass and well call it a stash with some class, bumping the trunk swinging side to side round and round humpy hump a hungry one soupy and sloppy sliding right in, lost in a cave fluff and love musty fun in this one dace about and jiggle with a giggle as she gets off, on your twitching on spin cycle boobonny falls out. what the hell bell ringing in my head where you been asked reddyfred turning around feels like the lost and found in this dwelling cave. ooowee she reaches in with a fisting fun too many so much fun all piled in on. woe natty noose whats that growing is that a forest all green and molding fuit fly born out of rotten cherry  all shriveled and sour with super odar power one more time hiny hippy who who I see you see me grinning cant knock my teeth out cause I aint got any well I do just let in a jar sitting there like me being all sqare as a pare falling from a sweet tree. her beauty strikes me holy wow upside down she look like a cow mooing and moaning for more we open the door for 4 more clowning around she falls to the ground woofing like a dog wagging a tail for every one punning goofy doofy flappy flabby baking tatters in crack basing ass in air face in rug cruming for the numbing in flibaly fatty  floozies just fore meez squeezes to pieces for pizza O topping a toppling of tangy toffy that is froffy with milky smiles for miles riding the donkey all those boobies flopping floppy my eyes bouncing with cheesy greesy grins O toofless one lets gear up the fun on the run 



Hello weary one

Hello weary one, thought I seen you in mind, my divine goddess flashing images so happy. Smiling with beauty a glory shine that blinds my heart, why so far apart when were just thoughts away. a moment in mind twining souls and threading lovers together in spirit for ever. flash flash in mind what a blast will love live and last. hand fasting vows of branding the souls in belonging, longing for the love fading, like sand falling threw fingers, left standing on lonely roads, walking hand in hand with those passing in the winds flying of fleeting love. The beauty in the air sweet scented heaven, lovely as a dove purring in the morning. A star glowing with a smile for you. A rose in hand and a will I am directing a wand with thoughts of delight to night in dreams, body in slumber mind in wonder thinking of you all dressed in red my goddess you are beautiful. Tossed from heaven as a blessing to earth, queen of night, lets play in flight, explosions of water brings deep emotion, to the flow of our motion in seas of slumbering dreams. Awaken next to you, in fading memories of feeling you deep within heart so far apart yet just thoughts away. 

Reruns

A man with out a thought, drunken, fallen, broken, lost, following dreams with out reason, other then the hope of. Too much out of control drinking, leaves me bleeding dreams from heart. Not that smart, yet I stand with vision. Over and over again, I find that bottom of the bottle empty,  the desire is more idiot. The voices don't stop they just get more twisted, as we go along walking in the desert of mind. Every time I say never again, I loose my mind with a bottle in hand, Awakening again with a guilty feeling all sad, sorry, just get mad, for the tears falling on past grounds. Drinking them voices away will get me every time. How many times the voices grind, repeating like a rerun. Like a rerun over and over again lost in the desert of mind. They love me drinking, sleeping, talking with out a thought, with a loose split tongue a hand in my head and a hand in my heart they drive me round like a car. Rerun lets drink again tonight. Its night some where right? lets whiskey on rocks we can roll threw the cacti and have a blasting bang on the way down. Sweet 101 and we having fun under the burning sun. thirsty again over and over we do it again. My GOD whens it going to end O idling one. Father, why am I here. The spirits twist my lips letting thoughts fly freely. Burning desire within me flaming so damn deeply, clearly from ass to mind in blind drunken glory. I look up seeing heaven look down seeing hell knowing both so well earth deserves me, trapped in flesh no one believes me. cant drink it away it just comes back the next day. all the beautiful people glowing with color and emotions happy glee singing, all the trees breathing and we fall down with the spirits again, breath dragon the ground, fogging people to frown. O me, O my, whens it going to end. Cant drink it away every day, what we going to do, but pick up and practice mastering the dragon within, tame it, don't blame it, lets make it a game. How long can I stay away from the bottom of that bottle. Take me as I am...

Tuesday, May 21, 2019

A cause worth following my heart

A grand father writing to make a better future for all earth dwelling

I follow the light of spiritual heart,
 A morning Star,
 walking threw the darkness of human religion

 
My Cause Is

 Water cleaning power plants and floating garden dome smart homes with sewage and trash control by incineration, using cold fluids extracting the oils from the smoke and feeding the co2 threw the garden waters, running out to add on domed green houses. I aim to build a piece of heave on earth. Storm proof with wind resistance and fire tardent. A home that supplies you with your own clean food, water, electrical needs and cleans your breathing air. 

New housing and employment
The Garden Dome Smart Homes are two story, self sustaining. With a human as the heart keeping things running smoothly. With a basic four bed two bath kitchen dining and living area. A nice flat that can be left up to the investing parties for personal choice in remodeling. 
There will be a font and back exit and a release hatch. All windows and door will have auto covers that seal and air lock protective covers. With a click of a button you will be covered. The high winds blowing flying items around. The dome creating a wind pressure that pushes the air currents around and over generating and up draft flow and pushing tornadoes at its base, that they avoid or go around.  Even if the base flew directly over a dome, the wind would have nothing to grab. 

Clean water and power
Need more water? Build a water cleaning power plant. At least one of many ideal designs for cleaning water. By evaporation and condensation using a re-flux fluid to heat coils that heat larger bodies of water.
To heat the re-flux fluids. I would reroute the city sewage into larger incinerators. Extracting the oils using a cold water extraction method condensing smoke, collecting the oils in large containers, allowing it to decay and turn into methane. Setting up hot water coils under the containers and bury them under ground. The heat allows the sludge oils to break down decaying into methane gas. The container acts in the same manner as a digesting system.   


Clean plant food
The white ash left over from the incinerators are minerals and all the foods plants love most. Plants eat threw chemical digestion the ash holding all the things striped from the fields. Composting the ash with left over garden goods and farm shit and sold to market. All the Oder and bad has been removed leaving only the good plant foods. 


Investment returns
There is profit to made on many different levels for many different people working together to create a piece of heaven on earth. Where people are employed to go to school educating them selves for a living in space exploration. 


Lower costs better pay
Lowering costs on utilities to fund employed education programs, using a new system in whole new communities. The new system can supply the old system with new power keeping the flow going threw the old grid and turning out new partners in a new grid.
A new system working with unlimited power and clean water. Garden businesses go booming using their new indoor first floor clement controlled gardens, with center water fall and under foot fish farming. The water fall is for churning the garden water to keep the fish breathing and is awesome for meditation with the trickling of water putting harmonic soothing tones using an assortment of stone and water dropping, creating a verity of sounds. You could call it garden music for the plants.


Clean Air
The air is filtered threw the garden water using enlarged fish air pumps, pulling the air out of the flat and garden down stairs. Recycling it threw first, tubes of green floating plants called algae, by feeding the algae co2 we can replace oxygen in the garden waters that will evaporate into new air pumped back up stairs threw water filters to clean any pollen.


Helping
The sooner I get started the faster I can help those around me. I am asking in a polite manner for donations for the cause. Needing travel money to get to where I need to be when I need to be with out worry. 
Good deeds for good deeds and the worlds needs are met in kindness. Having just gotten married and wanting to build into a better living. 
With a desire to help those wanting change. By creating employment in building  2 story housing that severs as a garden or business on the ground floor. 
Having the travel money would get me started in different directions. I could bring my family back together, having employed my self writing stories and building garden dome homes. Perhaps I could get my kids and grand kids all in the same town under the same roof.


Its no longer a want but a need
  Not only for family, for the whole world because it goes beyond me and into cleaning the world for generations to come employing our youth in education, giving them a jump start, into space exploration and not a lumped up bill with a basic education.